On A Second Date Who Pays For Dinner? By Kimberly Hawthorne

Relationships/Dating 101:

On A Second Date Who Pays For Dinner? By Kimberly Hawthorne

 

It was midday when I received a call from this guy who I'd agreed to go out on a second date with. He wanted to know if I wanted to eat before or after the theater. I of course replied "eating after sounds like a great idea." He then went on to say since I'm taking you to the Theater can you pay for dinner?

At the time when he called I was actually up north in a little boutique shopping. I was so confused about what he'd asked me I had to leave the boutique and go to my car to finish the conversation. I then said "let's start again; now what is it you are saying?" He repeated it to me, and then there was a pause from him to hear my response and a pause from me waiting to see if he was joking. After a little back and forth I said "stop." Let's review, you asked me out for a date. I agreed to that date. Now you want me to pay for part of the date you asked me on. I laughed a little after that, thinking how improper. The thing that really had me shocked is that he had no idea that what he was requesting was improper.

I told him that the conversation about me paying for dinner because he bought theater tickets made me feel very uncomfortable. I had to tell him that I didn't believe I would be going out with him that evening. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to relax and have a good time with someone who is obviously insecure about something. I had no interest in sitting around later trying to figure it out three months down the road. Of course he was a little shocked and wanted to then pay for everything. It was too late for that as I was already quite turned off. I had never experienced that before on a second or even third date. I obviously was not desperate or hard up for a date.

It is really disappointing to know that some men still have no clue about how to date a woman. Rather we want to admit it to ourselves or not; in the world of dating there is a double standard. It's actually been that way since the beginning of time. I'm sure when Cavemen asked Cavewomen out to a meal they didn't ask her to go out and kill part of the meal since they killed the other half.

Dating is apart of courting which of course means that the man is expected to pay. This is and has been apart of our everyday societal norms. Guys who don't realize that these societal norms exist should up their dating game or get out of it.