Long Distance Dating: Is it a No or a Go?

How do you feel about Long-Distance Dating?  Let us know what your experiences have been.  Why it did or didnt work.

Dating Long Distance: No or Go?

I'd like to hear what you think about dating long distance.  Is is a good idea?  How would you make it work?

Two's a Company, Three's a Crowd..

What happens when two people go out and the guys friend bum rushes the show?  Disaster!  Checkplease!  I went out with this guy to a sports bar in the South Loop.  It was going pretty well, good conversation, good eye contact.  Somewhere between the good conversation and his unwilling sarcasm his phone rang and he answered it.  Problem#1  If a guy answers the phone while on a date with you you can pretty much call it.  Im not use to something like this happening but apparently it does.  Like Santa Claus, You do exist!  LOL  Well first off its just rude.  You can stay at home and talk on the phone.  I was tempted to pull a "I really got tons to do so I'm gonna split.  But I hung ten and then his boy shows up like this was the only sports bar in the city of Chicago.  I was irritated and was ready to go.  And lets face it, a sports bar is NOT a real date.  I wont do it again ever.  Its really not me.  When he text a really stupid text the next day or so saying "Do you miss me yet?"  I was like ?  DELETE.  Remove silly emails and texts from men that have no value.  No value meaning nothing in it for you.  When I didnt respond to that he sent another really immature text that said, "What happened to you".  DELETE.  Anything other than a phone call is just a waste of time.  Dont fool yourself into believing it doesnt matter.  It absolutely does!  Go out there and get what you want ladies!  Bonne Appetit!! And not at a Sports Bar.  :)

Is it okay for your man to frequent "Gentlemans Clubs"? Let us know your feelings.

I recently was invited to a Birthday Party by a male friend of mines.  He told me that we were only going to be there for about an hour and then we were going to a club in the South Loop.  He also let me know I could bring some friends with me and that it would be nice with free food and some drinks.  So with that I decided to invite two girlfriends out to meet me there. 

When we arrived there were naked women with there asses in the guys faces and dancing.  It was like a little apartment in a store front.  There had obviously been some renovation but none the less I was not impressed by the location.  The girls were not beauty queens or top of the line babes they were just some ghetto girls with no clothes on.  My first thought was "Im Blind"!  Oh God help me.  I'm thinking this cannot be good for my sex life.  Seeing other womens ta ta's has got to be bad luck.  I like MEN so I definitely was not prepared to see naked women.  I was a little pissed.  I floated through the 45 minutes we were there with a nervous laugh that kept me from making any eye contact with anyone in the place besides the people I knew.

It was clear to me that the men that were there didnt care if the women had degrees, were the cream of the crop or even had a real job.  They just wanted to be entertained some how by the opposite sex.  I thought it was quite sad and very upsetting that women would position themseleves in such a place that no one had an expectation of them because they were that lower life form. 

This is a gender issue that definitely needs further review.  It was quite disturbing.  I'd love to hear what others think about this.  Please leave your comments.

Amazon.com: BUPPIES (9781420896800): Kimberly Hawthorne: Books

Amazon.com: BUPPIES (9781420896800): Kimberly Hawthorne: Books

Do you find that when dating your picking the same guy over and over?

If you find that you are picking the same person over an over and failing you need to change your plan.  Do you know what its called whne you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?  Its called Insanity people!  Change up your game plan.  Make a list of what it is you want and dont want.  Don't stray from that list.  There is a wrong and a right way to date.  You can do this.  Stick to your plan and dont settle when youve gotten tired.  If you give up you give up on you and end up dating a duplicate of your ex. 
We can all learn from ourselves and others, post your experiences in this respect and how you did or didnt overcome it and if not whats going on now.   

How long should you date before having SEX?

We want to know what your experiences have been.  Please share your opinions!

Should you date down?

Were interested in knowing that if you felt vulnerable would you date some one who is "not hot"? 
Let us know what you think.

The Break Up Vacation

The trip started out fine, I picked him up that morning to ride into O'hare airport.  He was in a pleasant mood and at that moment I was glad that we planned to go on our trip to Miami.  I thought 'how could we have grown apart so quickly and still love each other.  I figure you can still love each other without all the mushy stuff.  But the problem was that I wanted that mushy stuff.  

Day 1
Were at the beach now and because I just lost 15 pounds I look incredible.  We had our millionaire mojhitos the size of our heads at the restuarant right around the corner from our hotel and across from the beach.  It was amazing to be there together relaxing.  I am tanned and tysy already.  After all the talking and laughing I realized that we were doing something we hadn't done in a while.  Talk.  Really talk about who we really are and where we want to be.  I'm scared because I also realize I'm still in love with this person.  But ofcourse I am why would i do this.  I do love him so much but I know it's in my best interest to remain neutral like Switzerland until or if ever he reveals the same to me.  I can't be the one to do it.  I've given all that I can give, it has to be him.  

He took pictures of me as I ran into the waves, and I was totally intangled in "our" moment.  The pictures showed it, and pictures dont lie.  And even as I write now I know that I can't cry.  I have to take control over my emotions.  

Day 2
The heat is great and we are having a great time riding around Miami on our rented motor scooter.  I'm falling in love all over again.  I notice him looking at me the way he used to when I'm not looking.  
Our familiarity is reestablished while we spend time doing regular stuff.  Walking, talking, smiling with each other. 

Real love comes from a deep appreciation of another person and I believe we have that but can we keep it and take it back home with us? 
Back at the beach again and the sun feels great while I lay on the beach sun bathing.  I watch from the sand while he swims beautifully.  He swims like a fish and watching him makes me laugh on the inside because I know how much he loves it! 

Day 3
I've rediscovered something about myself that i didnt remember, I Love the Beach!  I cant get enough of it!  I forgot how great this is.  Your alone with your thoughts and you plans and pray with only the waves as your music.  Sometimes you need wide open spaces to figure stuff out. 

Night 5
We went out to dinner so tanned and blissed out.  Hair flying hand holding walking to the Mall where the excitement seems to be on this balmy Sunday night.  Totally drunk after dinner I spent $200.00 on the prettiest costume jewelry at "Soooo Good" boutigue.  Then back to the room to change and go out to a cool little night club that reminded me of the poetry days when I would hit the Cool daddy o spots to read poetry and feel "real".  I loved that.  We grabbed our little spot and we just "were".  We listened to the live band that was actually pretty damn good and the vibe was great.  No phony bolony.  It felt like we lived down the street and would go home after and make love like crazy.  But no that was earlier.  I had no idea if I'd have more of the same later.  I did hope. 

I'm here with him on our last day and I love him so much and I feel the love he has for me.  But its blurry.  words mean so much.  I have not heard them yet.  What is he afraid of.  All the happy is here with me so why the mystery for love, life and the possibilty of more of that please. 

Back in Chicago and its cold and I feel him moving back to his distant place the minute we hit the Kennedy.  I looked at him and smiled and thought "we'll always have Miami". 

All the while as I promised myself I remain muted.

On A Second Date Who Pays For Dinner? By Kimberly Hawthorne

Relationships/Dating 101:

On A Second Date Who Pays For Dinner? By Kimberly Hawthorne

 

It was midday when I received a call from this guy who I'd agreed to go out on a second date with. He wanted to know if I wanted to eat before or after the theater. I of course replied "eating after sounds like a great idea." He then went on to say since I'm taking you to the Theater can you pay for dinner?

At the time when he called I was actually up north in a little boutique shopping. I was so confused about what he'd asked me I had to leave the boutique and go to my car to finish the conversation. I then said "let's start again; now what is it you are saying?" He repeated it to me, and then there was a pause from him to hear my response and a pause from me waiting to see if he was joking. After a little back and forth I said "stop." Let's review, you asked me out for a date. I agreed to that date. Now you want me to pay for part of the date you asked me on. I laughed a little after that, thinking how improper. The thing that really had me shocked is that he had no idea that what he was requesting was improper.

I told him that the conversation about me paying for dinner because he bought theater tickets made me feel very uncomfortable. I had to tell him that I didn't believe I would be going out with him that evening. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to relax and have a good time with someone who is obviously insecure about something. I had no interest in sitting around later trying to figure it out three months down the road. Of course he was a little shocked and wanted to then pay for everything. It was too late for that as I was already quite turned off. I had never experienced that before on a second or even third date. I obviously was not desperate or hard up for a date.

It is really disappointing to know that some men still have no clue about how to date a woman. Rather we want to admit it to ourselves or not; in the world of dating there is a double standard. It's actually been that way since the beginning of time. I'm sure when Cavemen asked Cavewomen out to a meal they didn't ask her to go out and kill part of the meal since they killed the other half.

Dating is apart of courting which of course means that the man is expected to pay. This is and has been apart of our everyday societal norms. Guys who don't realize that these societal norms exist should up their dating game or get out of it.