The Power of a Good Women, a Man's Perspective

If your like me you probably spend time trying to figure out what will make your guy happy.  Its true that Men are truly from Venus and we are from Mars so how do we bridge the gap?

It's called Communication.  I know its sounds like an old story but actually it depends on who your talking to.  Ladies nothing can settle hot coals like coming to your man and sitting down on him OOPs I mean sitting down with him and talking about his feelings.  Any guy whose seriously into you will tell you exactly how he feels.  Its up to you to take what he's saying to heart.  The way to a man's heart has been said to be through his stomach but I have to say its through ummm his ego. Yes that's right his ego. If you have a good relationship he wont keep that ego securely hidden from you.  He will not only let you in he will pull up a chair so you can cater to it properly. 

During interviews with men ages 39 to 44 about "The power of a Good Women" I got up close and personal with the mans perspective.

Eddie, 39 Says that he really enjoys the simple things from his mate.  He enjoys a surprise walk in the park after work, showering together or a simple dinner in front of the TV with his girl. "I love it when we just sit and talk".  Made him feel close to her in their at home spaces. 

Clay, 41 Likes the expensive stuff.  He likes it when his lady plans a night out on the town dining, drinking and dancing.  "We don't do that kind of stuff too much anymore but once every few months its a good time".  Made him feel like she still thought he was sexy.

Danny 44 Was so excited to tell me about what his special lady does that made him feel like a million bucks.  "I really love it when my girl heats up hot oil and rubs me down from head to toe.  Its like the best thing in the world to me!" 

Its clear that a definition of a good woman is the compilation of many things and many different needs.  Every mans love language is different its your job to figure out what each others love language is so your minds truly are talking to each other.  For me it was just nice to hear men feeling so good about being close with their significant other.  Love is Grand! 
  

Are You Ready For Prime Time?

I hear a lot of talk from Men and Women that they really want to be with somebody nice.  This is definitely a reasonable request. However there is Homework that should be done before going on the pursuit to find your perfect mate. You have to ask yourself if you are ready of "Prime Time".  Meaning, do you have yourself together mentally, emotionally and financially.

Imagine two people who get together based on surface ideas. They both attractive and are visually attracted to one another. But once the first, second and third dates have passed things become more intense. It's after the preliminary period that the real "Relationship Building" starts.

While your Single realize that spending time alone is great. This is the time that you figure out who you are, your likes and dislikes. Make sure you understand what kind of man or women you are wanting to meet. It's a great time to pay off any debt that you may have as we'll. Finances play a huge role in a grounded relationship. If your finances are not together this could cause a problem further down in the relationship.

If your still hung up on another person it would be a good idea to get emotionally healed. It's a good idea not to take any old baggage into a new relationship. This is a new start to the possibility of!  So be open to seeing a Therapist to create a new way of thinking and clearing the way for LOVE to happen.

I'm a true believer that a good relationship can and will happen if you do your homework and start within. If you don't want to date yourself why would anyone else?

And last but not least get out there! It's healthy for your self esteem and mental stability to interact socially with people of the same and opposite sex. If your highly motivated on your dating track at this stage get online and plug in to Internet Dating.

There's a mate for every person so prepare and declare that you will be successful. Show yourself friendly and be optimistic that its going to be a good journey.

Red Flags: Dating Men in their 40's. Never Married. No Children

If your a single woman dating in her 30's, there's a good chance you could meet and start dating a man in his early to mid 40's.  And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.  That's perfectly healthy and makes a lot of sense on the surface. 

But if your a single 30 something year old woman with no children and dating a 40 something year old man who has no children and has never been married in his life you may need to seriously evaluate the relationship.  In an attempt to save time it would be adequate to sit down with that person and ask them if they desire children.  Any other answer beside Yes means No.  This is very important.  If he says for example, "I never saw myself with children".  That is him saying No I don't want children but I do like you so I'll give you a half baked answer to keep you around.  

You may want to mention what a surprise it is that he's never been married.  Find out what he thinks about marriage.  If he for example says "he really likes his autonomy and the quiet".  He's a hermit.  Find somebody who wants to be a couple and hated being alone all the time.

If you have no desire to have children or already have them and don't particularly want to be married then he's perfect for you.  But be aware that he may have commitment phobias and this marks as a red flag as well.  

Asking questions is just a part of uncovering needs and wants.  When he wants to ask you questions he will, so don't get all passive in your relationship house when you should be inquisitive.  

The key is this: Listen to what someone is saying to you.  It can save you a lot of time and possibly disappointment down the line.  It absolutely means lots!  

Choose to date wisely!  :) 

  

Artificial Insemination: A Woman's Choice

Being single has its highs and lows.  The good definitely out weighs the bad being a single woman.
The freedom to go when you want. Travel when you feel like it.  Just throw caution to the wind if you like.  Having an enormous amount of flexibility is great.  But more and more late 30 somethings and early 40 somethings are realizing they are in a decision making place to give birth soon.  The number one reason has been that a large number of women are without a partner or husband.  Well in today's world women no longer have to feel like they have no options and will never bare children of their own.  Today we have "Reproductive Endocrinology" that will help you have a child.  When I first heard about this option and how available it is to almost anyone I couldn't believe it.  In fact I thought it was a great option in comparison to the latter "no child because I'm single".  I say thank God!

I've done a bit of field research on this and you can get all the information you need from your Gynecologist.  It's that simple!  The cost will vary depending on the type of Health Insurance you have and what process you will need. But its all very feasible for the working woman.

If you were in a situation where you were in a race to beat  your Biological Clock would you use this as an option?  And is there anyone out there who disagrees with this option of giving birth?

Post on my blog: www.thedatingfactor.blogspot.com

What Should You Do? White Flag Sometimes....

There are so many of us who are dating and are at the edge of it all.  And what I mean by on the edge of it all is that moment when you know the relationship your in is either going to take a right turn or a left turn.  You look around and suddenly realize its decision making time. Your at a breaking point.  You don't care who was right or who was wrong.  Who made the plans to go wherever,  Who said what in a disagreement.  The bottom line is, is the Love you have in this relationship enough to keep it together?  Now if both people in the relationship feel like this then its easy.  You just Love each other unconditionally and that's great and go right.  These people were in the same place at the same time.

But most people aren't as successful in Love because they live in fear that they are going to loose something.  Loose autonomy, control of their stuff.  But by the end of their life they've spent so much time protecting their autonomy, stuff and space that they end up alone. Missing out on all the blessings that God has already laid out for them.  It happens all the time.
The answer is No, Love is not enough to someone who doesn't really love you.  I say this because it takes two.  Two people to build it up and make it into what they want it to be.  One person cannot be the happy, positive end of things and the other grim and not hopeful.  It just wont work.  Basically when your having stupid ass fights that you didn't start and get pulled into.  You have to wonder if the person your dealing with is trying to sabotage the slim remains of what used to be the high point of the day which was the relationship. If this is true your better off to wave your white flag and give your heart a break.  Sometimes you just have to walk away even though you wanted it to work and you still feel love.  The insults, negative comments and attacks on you as a person is not a sign of love.  Just walk away.


The person who is bringing down the curve has to first humble themselves because that's a big part of LOVE.  Then when they see you slipping away they make the move to say, I don't want to live my life without you.  If that is not happening move on.  Take all your positive energy that you gave from day one, your love and optimism on life and go.  Don't wait until the person who is negative in the relationship starts poking at you, being mean to you.  Putting you down.  Telling you what you do wrong, just giving you the grey side of everything.  You think to yourself I'll be positive and give positive feedback and they will have to follow my lead.  Don't do it.  This person has already robbed you of all your power and positive stuff.  They were weak, you built them up and now they think their better than you.  They wont give it back to you.  If you find that your not getting it back at all.  You've come to your own resolution.  If someone cant see how great you are and you have to remind or tell them.  You'd be better off single until you met someone who could appreciate you for you.  Not for what you'll become or what you have done.    There's nothing wrong with you.  The only thing that's wrong with you is being with them.  Be with someone who is going to smile when they see you all the time.  Yes even when they are tired.  I call that Love.  Real love transcends.  It doesn't grey and fade.  


Fear and Love cannot live in the same house.  Love is open to the possibility of........

I think we all deserve that much.  To those in relationships on the edge, life is precious don't let anyone rob you of happy joyful moments.  For those of you who have given up on love, don't!  Its right around the corner.  And to those of you who are in love and love each other successfully.  I say nourish that love and know that you have both been brave to trust that you can have God's Promise.  Special people deserve special people.  Love is important.  I wish you all much love and success in your relationships.  

Porn: A Reference Tool for Pleasure or Just Plain Immoral

Porn.  Porn.  Porn. Just the sound of these words being uttered in my mind makes me cringe and I look around and think; is it right?

And further more why do more men than women love it so much! In quiet spaces and unknown places ladies are keen on this Pandora's box as well. Shhhh... don't tell anybody.

The truth of the matter is that 1 in 3 Porn viewers are Women.  Unsurprisingly 70% of Men watch Porn on the internet in 1 Month.  Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.  12% of the Internet websites are pornographic, that's 24,644,172 sites.  40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. 

20% of Men admitted to watching porn while at work. 

Not to mention that more than 60% of  print advertising like the photo of this Yves Saint Laurent Poster  uses sex as the draw. (Photo provided by Daily Mail)  Why? Because it sells in a world that has created its foundation around sex.  This advertisement received more than 730 complaints to the ASA for it's sexual imagery.  But in comparison to the number of porn viewers in a day; more than tripled the amount of people who view themselves as moral consumers who disliked the sexual content of these types of ads.  

And the worst of my findings is that Sunday is the most popular day that porn is watched online.   

Is it possible that the world is obsessed with being obsessed?  This would explain why so many people have problems in their relationships and communicating with the opposite sex.  Even further since Men "supposedly" run the world; it gives light to why so many Women are brain washed to believe that prostitution of any kind is an "OPTION" as a career choice.  The stats are alarming but true.  Could sex be destroying the standards and integrity of the world?  

What do you think?  Do you think its ruining the fiber of what this country was built or is it just entertainment?

I'd like to hear from you!   

Post on TheDatingFactor.blogspot.com  

Has Online Dating Saved Your Dating Life?

Hi, My name is Jim and I enjoy long walks and longer books.  Blah, Blah, Blah. I've tried online dating extensively only to be even more disappointed than I was with my face  to face meetings with the opposite sex.  In a simple statement from my brain to yours  "it sucked".  It was probably the biggest waste of money I've ever spent.  To my surprise the people were not who they said they were at all.  Online they were mysterious and clever.  In person they were frumpy and unemployed.  At a couple dates I even burst out laughing at the comparison of the profile and the actual person.
What do think about the online dating rave?  Is it working for you and if so tell us how we can make it work for us?  Can't wait to hear from you!  Please post at TheDatingFactor.Blogspot.com      :)

If Your Significant Other Cheats; Do You Stay Or Do You Go.....

Most people would believe that there is a clear answer to this question.  I know from experience that there isn't a clear cut answer to this question.  Personally I could never accept my significant other being untruthful to me in our relationship.  I definitely would not deal with infidelity.  However others have made choices that are contraire  to my preference on this topic.  I feel that its destructive to believe that being with someone who has disrespected you in this way can be forgiven.  The relationship will never be the same and you will be forever changed for it; in a bad way if you choose to stay.   

What would your decision be in this type of situation?  Would you stay or would you go?  And if you would stay, why?  I think there are lots who would want to hear your thoughts.  

Your mate wants you sexy down to your skivies! Thong, Boy Shorts, Briefs. What gets you jump started?

 

I thought I'd keep it light and fun this morning as we go out into the world to start our day.  I personally thought thongs were played out but I was recently updated from my significant other that they are a room pleaser!  Me myself bring the boxer briefs leave the tightie whities.   I'd like to here details on what types of undies you like revealed to you midday or in the evening.  Lets hear it!  I wanna hear from you at TheDatingFactor.blogspot.com.

Is there still a Caste System?

Do you need your significant other to be along the same social status as you?  Or is it fine to mix it up a bit.  He's from an upper class background and shes from a working middle class family or he's from a working lower income background and she's a total blue blood.  Does it matter?  Do we need to share a similar background to share our minds, hearts and beds to feel comfortable in private and more importantly in public?  And if these types mix will they end in matrimony or just one of those things we would like to erase from the books.  What would you do and better still is this your situation?  Share your thoughts, I'm sure lots of folks have different views.  

Would You Date Your Friends Ex?

While some of us still believe in things like loyalty, self-respect, ethics and just plain knowing right from wrong; there are some who don't consider this important in dating.  There are more than enough single available men and women out there, aren't they?  Some might say well we don't have to get personal but isn't it ummm I dare say it "Personal"?  Your friend probably slept with this person and knows things that you may never know about them.  You then have to ask your self "Do I feel comfortable with this?"  

Now of course if the friendship isn't really solid and you like to roll out a little shabby like that then you wont mind being looked at funny by all of your friends that know the situation.  Also it takes quite a special person to be comfortable with dating their ex's friend of whom they only know because of the past relationship.  Not to mention if you are super tight with that friend it may cause a lot of tension at social gatherings.  In my experience when you break up with someone you almost want to believe they died or went to some far away land so you never have to see them again in life.  So seeing them show up in the present will definitely distance if not end your current friendship.  In fact you will probably have to choose one or the other.

I believe that most people are quite territorial about "their things".  In my own opinion I think its a bit tacky; but its not my call.

I'd like to hear what you think about  getting close and personal with your friends ex significant other.  Does the pond truly have that few fish we need to go for sushi?   Leave your thoughts......