Does Being In a Relationship Mean "Expect Cheating From Your Man"

 

Is it possible to be in a relationship with a man that doesn't cheat?  Well in a heated discussion at a gathering in the South Loop one woman made it clear that based on her experiences in life that its utterly impossible for a man to be faithful. With a full heart she shared how her father recently told her that while he is deeply committed to her Mother he had only been faithful the last 8 years of their 36 year marriage.  She said its fine with her if her man sleeps with other women because its primal and has nothing to do with his emotional connection which would only belong to her. 

 

I thought this way of thinking to be a bit narrow and rightfully so based on her experiences with men and now feedback from her father to back it all up. 

 

I believe you can have a successful relationship where there is no cheating involved. And it should never be okay for your significant other to cheat on you.  Its unacceptable behavior and this should not be rewarded.  You ignoring the behavior and or staying with no change in his behavior communicates its okay, so as a result he keeps doing it.  You first have to heal yourself before you engage on the journey of pursuing a healthy relationship.  When you know more you can better navigate on how to respond to certain situations in your dating house.

 

 It takes two to tango and both parties have to be on the same page with each other for it to work.  But both of you will have to be "All In" with it.  If your going to be in a relationship it has to be all the way as Frank Sinatra says in his song.  I shared with her that the key is communication with each other.  If you suspect your man is cheating I wouldn't recommend sitting around talking to everyone but him about it.  Respectful confrontation can happen, its all in the delivery of the communication. 

 

If you find that your mate is cheating on you and its too hard to bare and even takes you to a place where you cant control your emotions and mental stability.  I would recommend stepping away from that relationship and getting some therapy. This way you don't waste precious time in a dysfunctional relationship, get professional support so that you can move forward in your life to be a healthier happier you.  

 

Giving your heart is a big deal and it takes a lot of trust.  However if that person your giving it to doesn't realize that, its better to love yourself more.  Don't waste time with counterfeits.  God will send you a Blessing.  Never give up on Love. 

 

Happy Dating & Mating,

 

Kimberly. 

5 Ways To Be Sexier On A First Date!

For some ladies this is an easy task but for those who are in need of a little help here's some tips to make you feel like a winner from start to finish!

1.  Be the same you he is expecting or better.  For example if you say your not much of a drinker don't show up on the date and get totally wasted.  It will turn him off and make you appear flakey. 

2.  Wear something sexy.  This seems like a simple directive but some of you ladies have forgotten how to achieve this.  When in doubt check the internet, recent fashion magazine or your favorite celebrity to point you in the right direction.

3.  Act like he's the only guy in the room.  When you talk with him make sure you use good eye contact, this lets him know your interested in being there with him.  And make sure you smile!

4.  If things are going well a little touching of the hand or shoulder is a good indicator that you are feeling him and he will in turn mirror that behavior.  Never do this unless you are seeing non verbal cues that he's clearly interested as well.  Let him lead in this instance.

5.  Relax and have a good time.  Body language is everything, if your comfortable with yourself he can see that.  And nothing is more alluring than a woman who is comfortable with herself and her surroundings.  Have a good time!

For more tips on Dating Smart.  Visit www.thedatingfactor.blogspot.com  or inbox me on FB for a Dating Coach Session.

Cheers! 


 

Dont be Bitter Ladies; Be Happy for Her!

I was out this evening and it is just sad how bitter and jealous women can be.  If you can't be happy for other women and your a woman there is really something wrong on the inside.  I would first recommend that you get in a good bible based church and pray for the Lord to help you with this problem.  This kind of behavior is going to block you from other things in your life.  Snarling and sneering at a girl because she has it going on is silly and childish.  I've seen women be jealous because another lady was prettier, wore nice clothing, had a better hairstyle or had a better man than she did.  I was at a party once where one of the ladies was pregnant and the other ladies decided it was time to smoke like there was no tomorrow.  A couple of the ladies really wanted to be pregnant but had not been successful yet.  Instead of allowing the pregnant woman to be apart of the conversation at the party they smoked her out until she had to excuse herself and leave the party.  They were bitter and basically were saying "We hope your Baby Dies".  Yes women do these kind of hateful things to each other.  Don't be bitter ladies be happy for her.  Ask God to bless you with the desires of your heart instead of wishing the worst for someone else.  This kind of behavior will only push you further from what you want.  Focus on GIVING.  It comes back to you!    

Going It Alone: Artificial Insemination

Now you know this is really a hot topic.  If the subject comes up its like SHHHH but honestly in todays world this is a way of life for a woman.  I like to keep it real and this is a very real situation that working single women are faced with.  Whether or not to go it alone or just pass up your dreams of ever being a Mother is a thought that many Late 30 Something women lie awake thinking about.  I myself think its dated to sit back thinking that if you don't meet the man of your dreams by say age 37 that you should just give up and throw in the towel.  I was speaking with a lady at a dinner party and she was telling me how its over for her because she was already 40 and she knows that she wont be having children now.  I sat there and looked at her with great concern.  I asked her so do you believe in Gods Promise.  She said pardon me?  I said well don't you believe that God wants to bless you with the desires of your heart?  I told her I didn't think it was just by chance that we were talking.  I gave her some information from my cell phone that she could use for a good Reproductive Endocrinologist.  She suddenly perked up and a new expression was on her face.  One of hope and possibility for her life. 

I think the reason some single ladies don't look at this as an option is Fear.  The fear of being judged, or spoken about in a negative way.  Look its time to get with the program.  This is your life were talking about and if you choose to tell yourself you cant do or have something then guess what you wont. 

It takes an in charge kinda girl to say I want to have a baby so I'm going to Have a Baby.  Don't sit around using the fact you didn't find Mr. Wonderful yet as a reason that your life is bad and you cant have any babies now.  Yes I said Yet!  Just because you haven't met the love of your life today doesn't mean you wont.  You should live everyday of your life not every other month or so. 

Knowledge is Power so if this is something you want more information on go ahead and contact me via TheDatingFactor FB Page in a personal message and I'll respond to you.  Be an ambassador of you!  :)     

Being a mother is a wonderful gift from God that every woman should be able to experience.  Don't give up your dreams because you haven't found your husband yet.  God will provide.

Desperate Women Who Will Believe Anything. Why?

There's nothing I disapprove of more than a smart woman doing senseless things in their dating lives.  As I go around town, different women from different walks of life will tell me there most personal business.  I think it may have something to do with me being extremely personal and easy to talk to. Or maybe I just have a friendly face, nonetheless people just tell me stuff. 

For years whether I’m at the nail shop, work, or at a boutique ladies will spill their hearts out hoping for some good direction to take away.  They have been accepting bad behavior and treatment from the men their dating and even married to.  Yes I said married. 

I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and a woman was telling me how her man had slept with other women but he could never love any other woman except her.  She went on to tell me that she knows that he loves her even though he slept with other women because he always comes back to her.  But at the same time she’s close to tears the deeper into the story she gets.  Why would an intelligent women let herself be treated like this on purpose?  Ladies the door is open.  It’s called free will.  Don’t stick around to be used and abused.  She obviously feels like she’s not that great.  Her self-esteem is in the toilet and she’s drowning.  I simply asked her, do you love yourself?  She said I do but I know he loves me. She was happy to believe that this guy loved her.  At that point I said nothing more because she clearly needed a Life Coach to deal with her emotional issues before she could see her full value where as she then would never subject herself to such nonsense in the first place.

Most people would think that married couples wouldn’t have these kinds of issues as much but it’s actually more prevalent in marriages than you think.  Most of the stories I hear from married people scares the hell out of me.  One colleague of minds is married and recently told me how her husband doesn’t come home every night.  When I asked her “where does he go?  She simply responded nonchalantly, “I have no idea and I don’t even care”.  Hopefully everything will be fine.  It’s just a phase; she says.  I was shocked at that response as I know how much she loves her husband but it appeared that she would accept and believe anything he was willing to dish out as long as they were “married”.  She is clearly in denial and needs individual counseling to climb her way back to what’s real in the present.  Ladies this is not a healthy way to live your life. I’m her associate and I didn’t want to overstep so I keep my commentary and opinions to a minimal level.  Even though I can clearly see she is in a destructive relationship, she has to be the one to realize the marriage is essentially over or she can choose to live in an unfulfilling marriage.  In marriage you’re “all in” so if things go left the best route is to get some marital counseling.  If that doesn’t work a separation may be the best option to either healing or ending the marriage.

These stories I just shared with you are a clear example of women being desperate and willing to believe or even create a world that is imaginary so that they won’t have to deal with their problems head on. 

People desperation doesn’t look good on anybody.  It stinks in all shapes and forms.  Don’t be a door mat, abused wife, cheated on girlfriend or a single girl dating in abusive relationships.  Stand up for yourself and declare that you deserve a better life in your relationship house. Don’t spend unnecessary time in a train wreck.  This is your life.  Move on.